Breakfast in Bed

Why Choose Cannabis Over Alcohol This Valentine’s Day?

We’ve all been there. On a first date with someone we’re interested in. We’re nervous, unsure, but interested and curious. So, where do we look next? Often, it’s a beer or cocktail to smooth the nerves. Something to take the edge off, as they say. But how many times do we have to knock back a few vodka-cranberries before we remember that waking up hung-over or, worse, after blacking out isn’t the mature thing to do anymore? College was fun, but adulthood calls. Somehow, the call of Shots! Shots! Shots! just doesn’t have the same ring to it. We’ve learned a thing or two.

And one of those things we’ve learned is that, in life, there are actually options. We don’t have to drink from the same trough our whole lives. And, in places like Washington State, some of those options include the cannabis-infused. No longer do we have to look to imbibing alcohol as the way to lower our inhibitions or decrease anxiety. Drinks like Vertus, Happy Apple, Pearl and Utopia, thankfully, exist!

But, if you are still skeptical, if you need a little more convincing, here are five more reasons to choose cannabis over alcohol this Valentine’s Day.

  • Beer Goggles vs. Cannabis Goggles

“Beer goggles,” or that affect alcohol has on your judgment, especially when it comes to potential bedfellows, is well known and regularly despised. But that phenomenon doesn’t happen from cannabis. If anything, while stoned, you’ll get locked in conversation with a potential new mate and get to know them better, more relaxed.

  • Cannabis can be calorie-free

Don’t fill your stomach with heavy beers or cocktails with empty calories. Beverages like Utopia (which comes in Lime, Grapefruit and Cherry flavors) have zero calories and zero sugar. With no sugar, there is no hangover like sugary booze offers and, unlike drinking 2-3 IPAs, Utopia will not have you putting on unwanted pounds. Look your svelte self this romantic holiday!

  • Cannabis enhances orgasms

First of all, no one has heard of the term “marijuana dick.” Goodbye, whisky! Secondly, cannabis is a natural aphrodisiac and increases sensitivity and pleasure, especially in women. Just ask the famous professional dominatrix, Mistress Matisse. She’s a sexpert!

  • It’s sooooo much safer for you

To date, no one has died because of cannabis. That’s cannabis 0, alcohol 18 bajillion. Cannabis, especially if you don’t smoke it, is much better for your body than the difficult-to-process and liver-damaging alcohol.

  • Cannabis is much more versatile

You can cook with alcohol kind of, but it loses all its effects. And, other than that, all you can do is drink booze. But, with cannabis, you can enjoy a bong, blunt or bowl; you can cook with it, from soups to sauces and chocolates; you can drink it or mix it cock– or mocktails; you can use it as lube in bed; or you can turn it into ice cubes. The 21st century is about options. Don’t leave all yours on the table this Valentine’s Day.

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Jacob Uitti

Jacob Uitti

Jake Uitti is a Seattle-based writer, Tarukino marketer, and Uber Eats aficionado. He thinks life is best with a hot (delivered) meal, a catchy song and a cold bottle of Happy Apple to split with a friend. Follow him at

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